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Hey there ;)

Post by Chaos in bloom on Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:48 pm

Hel... (tap tap) Is this thing on? Can you hear me in t... What? It's on? Ok.

Alright. My name is Jack Daniels Strait. I'm 26 years old, and I don't own a prelude. I do have the title to one though that was stolen. By the cops. I did nothing wrong. Moving on. I'm somewhat of an asshole. I don't care. Fuck you. I won't censor myself, and I can only assume that's what the mods are for. As everywhere I go... I will test them, and make sure they are doing their duties accordingly.

First things first. I have facial hair. I see it, and it leads me to believe that men... and some women I suppose... use this as a means to hide their weak chins, or possibly facial ball sacks. It doesn't matter the real reason they have hair. It's all in the eye of the beholder right? Good. Then I make my own assumptions. Again, fuck you.

Secondly. I hate asians. You all know who you are. I don't hate you for stereotype reasons such as the illusion you are smarter than me, or you're all bad drivers. Wait. That's not accurate. That is part of the reason. I also hate it that I can't tell if you're awake or not. Like when you lay on a couch. (Yeah, I'm talking about you Mr. Asian Guy. You know who you are...) Also, why are you so short? Please. I don't pitty you, so save yourself the breath when asking me to get the soy sauce from the top shelf. I was short once. Pull out some drawers and climb the counter you idiot. I thought you were supposed to be smart.

Third. Australians. I can't stand them fucks. Seriously. What's so great about you? You hunt alligators, where goofy hats, and have teeth on a rope dangling from your neck. Get over yourself. Why are you even on a car forum? For Christ's sake, it's a fucking trunk, not a boot. A fucking hood, not a bonnet. You think I'm wrong? Well fuck you, I'm American, and I know better.

If you're a woman... Then know that I'm a man. I bring the bread home. It is YOUR responsibility to ensure it is decorated with meats and cheese and served to me with a refreshing cold beer. Any questions? If yes, then that is too bad. I can't hear you over the sound of a washer and dryer, not to mention, the running water as you're doing dishes. Do you still have questions? No? Good. Maybe you can think of other ways to make your life a little more easier on yourself while you're on your knees. That isn't a perversion either you perverts. These floors need cleaned.

If I haven't offended you, then awesome. You have a chance of being amusing. I may keep you around. Give you a little hat, and some cymbals for your hands. You can dance like a monkey while I wind my musical box and collect money. If I have offended you, then you obviously don't know me, and will do best to keep a safe distance. Afterall, none of this was written to offend anyone. I'm not racist or sexist, I just simply feel people need to know where they stand. Asians, I'm sorry. I farted, and that wasn't fare to you being in the lower atmosphere. I need to wipe now. I'll see you all around the threads.

-Chaos
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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by Miamiluder on Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:55 pm

lmfaooooooooooooooo wohooooo hispanics are in the clear (puts on flame jacket)

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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by zedries on Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:11 am

Chaos in bloom wrote:Hel...

Third. Australians. I can't stand them fucks. Seriously. What's so great about you? You hunt alligators, where goofy hats, and have teeth on a rope dangling from your neck. Get over yourself. Why are you even on a car forum? For Christ's sake, it's a fucking trunk, not a boot. A fucking hood, not a bonnet. You think I'm wrong? Well fuck you, I'm American, and I know better.



Still love you jack... glad you are here coz it keeps things interesting.. YeeeehaaaW!!!

oh wait, that's you yanks...

See ya later mate.. there are shrimps and barbies that require my attention!
Z
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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by jd on Fri 28 Jan 2011, 12:31 am

lol love you 2 Jacky boy!!
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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by Tim1137 on Fri 28 Jan 2011, 8:50 am

...who is this guy? scratch
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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by DELUDEDBBSiK on Thu 03 Feb 2011, 4:52 am

Oh HAIIIIIIIIII Mr. EYE LINER GUY.
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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by xxfallacyxx on Fri 04 Feb 2011, 11:05 am

This guy isn't around often enough.

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Re: Hey there ;)

Post by Christian on Fri 04 Feb 2011, 11:09 am

oh man this made my morning! haha welcome Smile and agreed with Dylan, we're in the clear
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Re: Hey there ;)

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